My Recipe for Liquid Food.

…And the cravings continue. Here’s how to make soup. And not even just out of a tin, either. Perfect for feeding old people who can’t chew food, kids with snotty noses, (although it’s summer here in New Zealand,) pregnant women, and evidently dogs too, if your family are too afraid to try anything you cook.

For this scrumptious belly filler you will need beef stock, lentils or soup- mix- type- stuff (kinda looks like what you’d feed your pet budgie)


And chuck them in a pot to boil for about fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, grab heaps of vegetables. Like, all of them. ALL OF THE VEGEBILLS. Chop em up. Now. I used potatoes, carrots and celery. Also chop up a few cloves of garlic. Keep it chunky, Monkey. Oh, and if you do use celery, keep the leaves on, coz my Mum said so.


Chuck them in the pot too and keep giving it a random stir every now and then when you can be bothered.


Add some mixed herbs, pepper and salt til your whole house smells like a five star restaurant.


Also add a cup or so of pasta. Usually I’d use the brand that’s shaped like different dinosaur species, but I only had plain stuff. That’ll do.


And then let it boil for a bit, (remembering to stir!) Til some of the soup has evaporated and your soup is not so liquidy. If you can’t wait, just tip a bit of the juices out, but you’ll probably lose flavor that way. Add chopped up tomatoes, or if you’re anything like me you’ll just crack open a tin of pre- smooshed tomatoes and chuck that in instead.




Check that it’s all well cooked. Especially the potatoes. Make sure you can squish a wooden spoon through them. Add a bit more salt and serve with homemade bread if you wanna be a lil impressive. Bon apetitties.



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