So I thought I’d published this post a while ago.. Apparently not. Hmm, I wonder how many of my other pieces of writing have tried to run from the embarrassment of being read by the public?
Ancient National Geographic magazines with crusty pages and the annoying drone of the old folk’s radio station are starting to become very familiar. I don’t know if it’s because her headphones are in so she has no idea how loud she’s being, or if she just enjoys the sloppy sound of chewing gum, but the lady sitting opposite me is starting to really piss me off. And stop with the nail- tapping on your armrest. Yes, we’re all aware you have acrylic nails. I take a moment to thank God for inventing touch- screen phones, as almost everyone in this room is tapping away at theirs, and if I had been made to listen to the constant buzzing and beeping of old Motorola bricks for the forty- or- so minutes I’ve been sitting here, I may have just lost my mind. At least some things can remain silent. Unlike the old dude beside me, who, I kid you not, is snoring whilst fully awake. I hear my name being called like the heavenly sound of an angel. I’ve been saved! Later, suckers.
I’m asked to semi- undress. I giggle at the thought of charging them for it. I lie flat, bare- bellied on a plastic- covered stretcher that smells like old soap and they proceed to wiggle my pants down and lube up my protruding tummy. (The most action I’ve had in weeks.) A TV screen is pointed out to me above my head, and all of a sudden an image appears from the darkness.
I have completely zoned out from the sounds of their voices, mesmerised. I am staring at the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
A snake- like spine curls and twists about, kicking two strong froggy legs against my insides. Two feet, ten toes. Its tummy bulges like a mini version of my own and its skull bounces around, containing a beautiful cauliflower of a brain. I see a small wave through the magical ultrasound glow of translucent skin and tiny bones. Two hands, ten fingers. I have given my heart and it has shown me its own; a precious firefly flickering and blinking through the constraints of its delicate cage, wanting to bounce out of that little chest.
It is hard to get a good view with the leaping and bounding of this compact creature who insists on using my bladder as a springboard. The radiologist mutters under her breath, annoyed at the amount of movement going on in my belly while she tries to measure the vitals. I assure her I have not consumed caffeine and that yes, those kicks and punches are as painful as they look. The tummy- prodding from outside does’t really help either. She darts across my bump quickly, playing a game of chase with my cheeky, unborn child. Baby wins, ultrasound technician gives up. She storms out of the room and calls in another professional to finish the job. One down. Round two.
The next lady to give it a shot gets her job done quickly. She gets a few good photos in as I try and process the thought of a human within my body.
“You didn’t come with a partner today? Oh, I see…” Yeah, whatever. Hurry up and get your measurements, Lady, so I can take another squiz at this gorgeous child of mine, who is currently tugging on its umbilical cord and poking itself in the eye repeatedly. Yep, definitely my child.
Absolutely incredible. Seriously breathtaking. I can’t wait to pop you out, lil buddy. You’re gonna love it out here!