If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words, “There are just no good guys out there,” I would be sitting up in my mansion right now, instead of in my kitchen trying to get good reception on my phone.
Ladies, (and for the guys who are interested,) I have an announcement to make. You can quit complaining about the lack of good fish in the sea. Not all potential husbands are gay (or straight), or taken! They’ve just been hiding. And I’m about to uncover where they’ve been all along!
Meet your new addiction: The Typical Single Dad (TSD)
Age: Young at heart with the playfulness of a kid, as well as the maturity of a responsible parent.
Height: Perfect for piggybacks.
Weight: Heavy, due to constantly carrying around a heart of gold.
Best Features: A never failing smile.
Built in Superpowers: Ability to fix anything that’s broken, make the most out of any crap situation and kiss better any booboo.
Common Habitat: Playgrounds, in the kitchen, at work.
I have many friends who are the most amazing single fathers. Putting parenting skills aside, they are all lovely genuine guys and would make excellent partners. When “on the hunt” we tend to look for certain things in a male: Is he caring? Will he provide security? How big is his… Hey, I was gonna say bank account, but whatever. And I can assure you, TSD’s seem to be ticking all of the important boxes. So why is it that all these single fathers are still, well, single fathers?
It could be that we are looking in all the wrong places. A lot of us tend to go out searching for love in bars. And, let me tell you, you’re probably not going to find a TSD there. After a hard day of work providing for his children before coming home to cook and clean, it’s unlikely any TSD will have the time or energy to go hit the clubs. And believe it or not, while everyone’s out getting trashed and making out on the dance floor, they’re probably happier all snuggled up at home watching Horton Hears a Who with their little ones in a blanket fort.
And during the day it’s pretty hard to track down a TSD. He’s usually hard at work from early hours of the morning after packing school lunches and changing nappies. It’s not that he’s a workaholic, but a common strength in TSD’s is that they recognize how important earning money is. You will not find a man of this nature borrowing money or cutting corners when it comes to provision for his family. He understands the needs of those who depend on him, and it’s that love and sense of responsibility which gets him up at 4:00am every morning and keeps him going til his head hits the pillow again. His determination does not come from selfishness, for he’s a giver. Kids are expensive, and he will do whatever it takes to ensure they are always living comfortably, because that is his number one job. His loyalty and that promise he makes to always provide is hard to find in a lot of males, and something which should be appreciated.
So how do we manage to meet a TSD when they’re constantly working or at home with their kids? Well, you could try door knocking, but I wouldn’t recommend it. My best advice is to make the most of the precious hours between 8:00am – 4:00pm on a Sunday in local parks, playgrounds and beaches. This. Is “Daddy Time.”
You’ll spot them almost instantly. They’re the ones playing in the sandpit, helping babies on the slide and wiping up icecream dribbles. They’ve got dark rings under their eyes from being up all night scaring away the monsters and they probably haven’t shaved in a few days because they simply haven’t found the time. You won’t find your knight in shining armor in an expensive Armani suit. He’ll probably appear a little more like a knight in shiny tinfoil wearing jandles and board shorts covered in chocolate and peanut butter stains. Do not be intimidated, even if he is pretending to be a pirate. Go up and say hi. I’m sure you’ll make his day. I know what you’re thinking- But what if he’s taken? Well, how are you ever meant to know? It’s the same in any situation, right? And even if he is, I’m sure he’d be flattered and tell you politely.
Rules when it comes to making the first move on a TSD:
1. If you’re asking him on a date, good on you! Just make sure it’s not out to a bar. Coffee is usually your safest option.
2. Understand that their number one priority is, and always will be, their children. You must have just as much respect and regard them with as much importance as you do him. Inviting them to come along too is a great start.
Note: this does not mean he will not be capable of loving you just as much as he loves his children; it is a total different type of love.
3. Show maturity when you speak. Friendly will get you further than flirty in this situation.
So. You’ve managed to get your hands on the perfect TSD. You met at a beach, built up the confidence to ask him and his little girl out on a date, and now you’re sitting in silence while he stares awkwardly at a latté bowl and Little Miss 7 is asking to leave coz it’s boring. I hate to break it to you, Sweetie, but the problem here might just be you.
Don’t look so shocked- Where we look for potential partners is not all we’ve been getting wrong in past manhunting ventures. Stop looking so hard for the “perfect guy” and first focus your attention on something a lot closer than that. Surely, if he’s the “perfect guy”, don’t you think he deserves the “perfect girl”? And that, my friends, is precisely what they’re looking for. If he’s what you want, become what he needs.
I’ve spoken with a few TSD’s to provide you with this very useful information. (You’ll thank me for it.) Here’s what they look for in a partner:
“I’m not looking online, because I need to know she’s honest and real about who she is. I’m not looking in a bar for that same reason; the qualities I’m looking for can’t be judged on a drunk girl trying to rub her ass on any guy who will dance with her. Besides, I don’t like dancing in public. I’d much rather dance like a dick in the lounge with my daughter.
I’m not your typical guy in search of someone who will cook and clean after him. I know I can cook and clean- they’re part of my job, like spider removals. But I would like a girl who can show affection in return. A backrub after I’ve had a hard week so I feel appreciated.” – Jonny
“A kind heart and soul.” – Riqi
“Bub is a must, there needs to be some sort of love there or connection . If my daughter doesn’t like her , it’s a no go off the bat. Only exception would be if she was genuinely trying and my daughter still gave her nothing, the fact that she was trying would show me she wants more and is trying to commit.
Secondly , a great ass. Hahahaha.
And thirdly, someone who takes me for who I am, I’m a music producer and spend most, if not all, my time in the studio (when in not with Bub,) and I love my job, you know. I’m not saying I wouldn’t alter my work load, but I’d want someone who respected that I’m a little bit of a freak when it comes to music.” – Kings
“She has to be someone who will understand that I have children and they come first, and their needs come first. She should be easy going, fun, someone I can hold a conversation with Someone who enjoys going out and dressing to impress, yet able to chill and relax at home wearing sweats, not giving a f***. Someone that will be happy to get involved and muck in, you know, the get her hands dirty- type.
She has to have similar values to myself, or at least know what she values. Honesty, trust, respect, loyalty, understanding, integrity, and she’s gotta be forgiving- we’re always doing something wrong!
Having similar interests always helps as well. Someone who is healthy, into fitness to some degree. And last but most definitely not least, sex!” – William
” I have children to different mothers, so someone who can accept that without instantly thinking I must have been the one who wrecked my previous relationships. Someone honest and caring.” – Kyle
Well, there you have it; how to win the heart of the type of guy you’ve never given a chance. Who knows? He might be just the type of man you’ve been looking for all this time. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll finally stop complaining about the lack of good guys in the world! They’re there, trust me. Now go get ’em!