Baring my Soul on the Big Red Dot

Planning my TEDx talk was challenging and a huge learning experiencing for me. I realized when brainstorming just how much I had bottled up in my head, and how passionate I was about making a difference. But who am I? …This was the point of my talk exactly.

I’m not a scientist. I’m not a professor. I don’t hold a single degree and unless we’re talking lapdances I’m not really qualified, either. However there is one thing I do have – life experience. And if anyone is an expert on my own life, it’s me. I’m a human being, and I don’t claim to know any more than anyone else, but I do believe that my own thoughts and opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s. And so began the process of writing my talk.

I based my main points around supporting our youth because it is what I am most passionate about, what I feel I’ve been called to do, and what I can relate to personally more than anything. I think it is such an important issue to be addressed, and I truly hope my own efforts can make some sort of change in the lives of others. Even if I’ve only made one person stop and think – just one – I know I’ve done my job.

On the day a lot of my planning kind of flew out the window. I had started falling asleep backstage during the talk before mine, and when I was abruptly woken to the sound of clapping and told to mic up in a rush. I had a bit of a mind – blank moment and had to take a quick second to compose myself.

I’d rehearsed a few times beforehand, but nothing could have prepared me for the deep emotion which flooded me that day; standing more exposed than ever in front of a crowd of unfamiliar faces.

It’s funny – I’ve been totally naked in front of over 500 people, and at the time that was easy for me to do, but I’ve never felt more vulnerable than when I stood on the famous big red dot.

As soon as I started opening my heart I heard my voice tremble and I knew there was no stopping the tears to come. Out of my soul and my eyes poured years and years of hurt. I stopped mid – sentence to pray, and I felt this enormous weight being lifted from me. In opening up I was healed.

The old Miss Whiskey is well and truly gone, though I’ll never forget the lessons she taught me. My name is Sarikha Rosli. This is who I am, this is what I stand for. It isn’t perfect, but I hope you can take something from my talk. This is me, baring my soul to you.

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10 thoughts on “Baring my Soul on the Big Red Dot

  1. Hi there, I have randomly found your blog and and love reading it. I love following your journey into freedom. I love your honesty. I love your courage and soft heart. You are one very special girl, precious and beautiful. The fact that you are sharing your story, even while you are still struggling with your health and other issues is so amazing and courageous! I think it will encourage many to speak out when they need help. I absolutely love how you have allowed God to heal your heart and how you learn to trust him. Your story is one of the best things I have read in a very very long time. I wish you all the best on the journey you have begun and I am sure God has wonderful plans for you, His precious, pure daughter, who has not been destroyed by what people have done to her, but come out the other end, strong and beautiful. You are loved. xoxo

    • Oh gosh, thank you so much, Melanie. You’ve got me all teary eyed and fuzzy hearted :) Thank you for taking the time to read my story and write me such a beautiful heartfelt message. I really appreciate it. Thank you sincerely. God bless you x

  2. Sarikha, I remember you as a bright, quiet, creative student… I taught you back when I was a beginning teacher (year 9 science I think). It breaks my heart to hear of the depth of pain you experienced as a teenager, but I’m so encouraged by your message of hope and faith. Your story inspires me to continue in the work of trying to build supportive, safe, trusting relationships with the students in my care. I hope and pray that we will all keep our eyes and hearts open so that we never miss another opportunity to bring healing and love to the broken and hurting kids in our community. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, trusting that our God of life and hope and healing, who started a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it.

    • Hi Kirsty, (Wow, still feel like I should be addressing “Miss Couper” ;) Thank you so much for playing such an important role in my life. In fact, you were a link in my chain of Christian faith. I still remember you sharing that you were a Christian and at the time I hadn’t really heard much about God, but it really proves that even to someone like me in a dark place, God was always there, all throughout my life. Thank you for remembering me, and thank you for all the work you do for our young people <3 God bless x

  3. Hey Sarikha, I am completely overawed by your courage & strength, alongside your beautiful vulnerability. Thank you so much for your korero, I have an 11 year old daughter whom I love very much- but like you say, I have struggled with my role as an ‘adult’ in her life & its been harder to connect with her thanks to all the technological devices/distractions. I will definitely endeavour to talk & be more present with her (& my nieces & nephews). Thank you for the emotion and keeping it real, it took me back to when I was your age, I could relate to so much of your experience.
    God Bless you & your family always, Peace, love and prosperity. x x

    • Claudes, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this beautiful message, it really touched me. I am so glad that you were able to relate to, and take something from, my talk. As parents we will never stop facing struggles and barriers, but as long as we haven’t given up, then we know we are doing our job right. Unconditional love is a frickin scary thing, isn’t it? But man, is it beautiful, too. Aroha nui, my friend x

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